The Title of This Post Says It All: Life Isn’t Fair.
Everyone knows it. You have likely experienced life’s unfairness (arbitrariness) firsthand. You were born into a family that was destitute, maybe well-off or even wealthy. You have all sorts of attributes that were the luck or unluck of the draw. For example, my parents were dirt farmers in the Ozarks. We had no running water, electricity or indoor plumbing. I didn’t think of us as being in poverty. It just was the way it was. I didn’t think of it as a bad situation.
When something you interpret to be bad or unfair happens to you, the best thing to do is simply rethink your evaluation and accept that life is not, and never will be, fair. Even thinking of things as “fair” and “unfair” is unhelpful: if something is unfair to you, it implies that you were cheated out of something. However, life simply does what it will; you can be bad and good things may happen to you, while you can be a wonderful person and still have horrendous things happen to you.
No matter what happens to you, it is best to move on and not dwell. After all, the event is in the past, and you cannot change it. So, don’t carry it with you and let it weigh you down. Let it go, leave it behind you, and move on. Your present is too important to squander this way.
Another helpful practice is to focus on what you do have, rather than whatever it is you lost or never had. Just as you shouldn’t dwell, you shouldn’t focus on the negative effects of the event you interpreted as unfair. Instead, focus on what you do have, what you can do, and all those things you’re capable of. As Andrew Matthews says, “The happiest people don’t worry too much about whether life is fair or not, they just get on with it.”
I can assure you that life, nature, the universe isn’t trying to be fair or unfair. They don’t care and can’t care. Things just are. So get on with it.